I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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