I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize