So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
