you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
