Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
