The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
