I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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