I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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