it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
