I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
