And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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