we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
