maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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