Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize