come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
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Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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