I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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