You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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