Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
