i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
