i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize