whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just want nice things and good sex
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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