When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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