Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
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i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Green mimosas i think yes
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
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He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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