i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
