I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She needs sedatives and a leash
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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