i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
