I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize