take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize