This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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