I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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