I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can I color on your dick again?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
