i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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