Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
