so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
