At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
