you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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