Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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