Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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