I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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