He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
