Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
