You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
