I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So much rum. So many feels.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
