I think my fart just growled at me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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