I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize