maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
