How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
