She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
