Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
