She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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