Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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