Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
