new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she smelled like a LAN party
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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