i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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