I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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