ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
