Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize